Our Town – April 7, 2011

Animals, Cats, Downtown, Fish, Movies, Our Town

Decorative tattoos for animals? the Soupster pondered as he walked on the Our Town downtown sidewalk. He had heard the identification tattoos that people put on their dogs and cats had blossomed into an art form. But the previous evening, he had witnessed the unseeable – a cat with the face of Celine Dion smiling up from a shaved part of its foreleg.

And then he had heard the unhearable – the news that one of Our Town’s newest tattoo shops was tattooing pet fish. Naturally, the Soupster had resolved to see one of these tattooed fish forthwith. Ergo, he was downtown early (for him) in the morning.

A goldfish with the chemical symbol AU for gold would, perhaps, be an apt tattoo, the Soupster considered as he passed a store. A printed notice taped to the window caught his eye, from the Local Illness Network Team. Another offshoot, LINT had grown out of a collaboration between Our Town’s foodies and healthies. An official ceremony would be held later in the month, declaring a certain type of fluid-filled growth that appeared on the right flank as a “Sitka cyst” – joining the esteemed ranks of Sitka rose, Sitka alder and Sitka black-tailed deer. It was no joke – it drained and hurt.

Could put a tattoo of the devil on an angelfish, the Soupster thought mischievously.  Betta are the pretty fish with those swirly, airy fins that make them look like they’re flying through the water. What could you possibly tattoo on a betta? he wondered.

Just beyond the cyst notice, the store owners had placed in their window a clever new device for Our Town motorists. “As Seen on TV,” said the lurid poster, mounted adjacent to theWindshield ProjectionTM. The device projected scenes from the most beautiful places in the world – Tahiti, Switzerland, Kilimanjaro, Patagonia – onto the windshield of your car in a way that allowed you to drive safely while enjoying the world-class view.

Our Town already had a world class view, the Soupster judged, but even the most gorgeous waterfront commute could be boring if unchanged day after day. At any rate, there was way more of a chance of his buying a Windshield ProjectorTM than of having the face of a Canadian diva – any Canadian diva – tattooed on the shaved forearm of his cat.

Across the street, the cinema bi-plex offered up two films. “The Sea Lion King,” which the Soupster had not seen, and “Give ‘Em Hell, Herring,” which he had. In smaller letters, for movies showing at the out-the-road bi-plex, the sign advertised “Shallow Halibut” and “Rocky.” Do two bi-plexes equal one multi-plex?

Ooohhh, those little seahorses could sport wonderful tattoos, the Soupster thought, as he continued down the street. A saddle, for instance. Or a tiny jockey. Maybe they should tattoo seahorses on the sides of regular horses?

He ignored the light rain that had started. The Soupster had money in his pocket and no appointments till afternoon. He considered the coves and forest surrounding Our Town as paradise, but with money and time in his pocket, even downtown – even in the rain – seemed like paradise to him.

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Our Town – July 16, 2009

Crazy Theories, Movies, Our Town

The Soupster dialed XYX-QYZQ and waited for his friend Chuck to pick up the phone.

“Hello,” said a female voice.

“Marcie?” said the Soupster, recognizing her voice.

“Soupster?” said Marcie.

“Ooops, wrong number. I was calling Chuck about his kayak,” the Soupster said. “So, what are you doing?”

“Well, I’m very glad to be back from a trip to the Real World,” said Marcie. “I had the weird experience of seeing a Sandra Bullock movie that was supposed to be happening in Our Town.”

“The Proposal?” asked the Soupster.

“I’m sitting in the audience in some gigantaplex theater that my grandmother, of all people, dragged me to,” continued Marcie, “and there’s Sandra Bullock in Our Town all recreated in Massachusetts. They had some aerial shots from here, at least. Granny was thrilled and told everybody she could that her granddaughter was actually from that town.”

“What is it about Our Town that so fires up people’s imaginations?” The Soupster asked his friend before hanging up and dialing XYX-QZYQ,”

“Hello?” a male voice answered – but not Chuck’s.

“Gene?” said the Soupster, again recognizing the answeree. “I’m supposed to be calling Chuck. I can’t believe I dialed the wrong number twice.”

“No problemo, amigo.” Gene said. “I’m just here flicking my newest DVD. Who’d you call the first time?”

“Marcie,” said the Soupster. “Who was just telling me she saw Our Town depicted in a movie when she was Down South.”

“Bingo, Bubba,” Gene said. “I’m here watching this Gregory Peck movie from the Fifties that just so happens to share a locale with The Proposal.”

“The World in His Arms,” he continued. “Monsieur Peckorino is a San Francisco sea captain who pursues a Russian Princess to the fair shores of Our Town, including a downtown chase on horseback – except there are trees all over – and a daring rescue from a forced marriage in St. Michael’s – except it’s the size of the Tacoma Dome.”

“What is it about Our Town,” said the Soupster, “that so fires up people’s imagination?”

“Gotta go,” said Gene, “Ann Blyth is about to marry an evil count at the enormous St. Michael’s!”

When the Soupster finally got Chuck on the line and told him about the wrong numbers, his friend was sympathetic.

“Easy mistake to make,” Chuck said. “My number is XYX-ZQYQ”

“So what is it about Our Town that so fires up people’s imaginations?” the Soupster asked Chuck.

“Dunno,” his friend said, “I’m too worried about all the pedestrians who may get stuck in the center island of the new Roundabout. It’s okay now, but what about winter, or October? Now, what I think they should do is take out all that landscaping and put in a survival shelter which is equipped with wireless and a satellite phone link and …”

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