17 Things A Tourist Should Know About Our Town.
Originally published April 8, 2004
- It does not “rain all the time.” Even during our rainiest month (October) there are whole minutes where rain is not actually falling. In Our Town, we concentrate on those dry periods when judging the quality of the day. This is why, when asked, “Does it rain here all the time?” members of Our Town say “No.”
- However, do not dangle your airline ticket in front of a member of Our Town during the entire month of October, unless you want to lose it.
- Everywhere else, the road “never ends”. Here the road “always ends.” Some local residents feel the need to check this fact and will periodically drive to the end of the road to do so. It’s also a good way for them to test their radio reception.
- Do not be offended if someone enters your conversation without introducing themselves. Some members of Our Town know so many residents, they assume all conversations involve them.
- If you use an umbrella, we will consider you eccentric, from England or here to sell hot dogs.
- If it is cloudy in Sitka during your entire visit — be advised: there really is a volcano out there. We’re not just making it up.
- A backhoe parked in a yard is a sign of wealth.
- Drivers here are very polite. One exception: if someone pulls out quickly in front of you causing you to slow down, that person is required to drive no more than 3 blocks without turning again.
- The amount of business a restaurant gets in its first month of operation will in no way predict whether that restaurant will succeed or fail.
- Don’t run out of milk on Monday.
- Problem Corner is not a therapy talk show – actually, it kind of is.
- Do not leave groceries in the back of pickup trucks unless you have checked for ravens.
- Don’t ask a boater how their skiff, cruiser, yacht or dinghy is doing, unless you have 20 minutes to spare.
- The big fish tote boxes at the airport usually contain more than one fish, despite what the fisherman says.
- A car with 60,000 Arizona highway miles is a “new” car.
- Even though there aren’t that many places to go, you will never go to them all.
- Do not try to calculate the number of people who would live here on a sunny day because it will be raining again before you finish writing all the zeros
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